Most of us take the futile route of trying to change the second one – “How do I MAKE him like me? ” “He doesn’t know what’s good for him.” But, as we’ve established a few hundred times on this blog, you can’t change anyone else’s thinking. To be fair, it’s possible to “make” someone like you by becoming a more desirable catch – there’s no doubt that a man who earns more money, gains more confidence, and gets more experience will have a more positive dating life. And as the furor about Lori Gottlieb’s Marry Him proved, nothing pisses women off more than the suggestion that they may be somewhat responsible for being single. There are tons of 38-year-old male Ivy-League educated lawyers who just can’t find a single woman good enough for him.
Now, take a look at those two problems; which one do you think you can change? But increasing your dating options can be a risky proposition, at best. Any conversation about opening up to more potential prospects leads us down the slippery slope to settling.
Instead, it's because of the way you speak to yourself.
It's overused, but true – you have to love yourself before anyone can love you. Responding to texts and actually picking a night that works for you both can border on exhausting – the amount of times I've texted for weeks with a guy, but never went out, is embarrassing – but going on dates is literally the way to stop being single.“But I'm so tired after work,” you tell yourself.
This affects how you feel about yourself, which ultimately affects how you portray yourself to the outside world, and potential mates. I love to blame myself for failed relationships, only to realize later that the guy was sort of a d*ck, and we weren't meant for each other anyways. Just because you've been single a lot in the past does not mean there is something broken in you. You might not want to admit to yourself that one year after it's over, and he's already someone new, you still miss your ex.
They may have just gotten out of a meaningful relationship or have dated relentlessly and just haven’t found someone with whom they’re truly compatible.
Well, then you don't get to complain about being alone. Body issues are not the sort of thing that disappear with a magical wave of the willpower wand.
6’s and 7’s are readily interested in him, but he doesn’t find them attractive enough.
I said it after I tried to hop on a unicorn pool float with freshly blow dried hair (and that margarita I worked so hard), only to flop directly into the pool.
It's a bizarre form of self-flagellation via phrase; I use it as a way to beat myself up for anything and everything. I once dated a guy who put his jeans in the freezer to clean them, yet, I still liked him. It's definitely not because you lost your drink a pool, or because you should probably find out about your allergies.
And as easy as it is to talk about gaining confidence and experience, most folks would rather sit on the sidelines and complain that the people you want don’t want you in return. In fact, the easiest remedy for an ailing love life is to It is anathema to suggest this, of course.
One of the things that I’ve often thought is that none of these men would marry someone like my wife, even though my wife is – objectively – just about the coolest woman on the planet.